The good, the bad and the ugly

So the good is that I had an away day at work yesterday which involved a very long walk around town. Taking in account our city is very hilly I was chuffed I did it very easily. I am much fitter than I used to be.

The bad is that I was 14,10 this morning - total rise of 8 pounds!!!! This implies I've overeaten by 28,000 calories!!! I haven't been on my diet admittedly but I'd say I've had an extra 500 cals a day - putting me up to the dizzy heights of about 1800 cals a day. Criminal behaviour.

I'm hoping for 1 of 2 outcomes...

1) I get pregnant whilst away.
2) I go on Cambridge when I get back and lose a stone of water weight in a week.

I'm expecting to be over 15 when I come back. It is depressing but really it can't be all real weight - it just can't be!!! I blame clomid.

The ugly - well should be me shouldn't it? I should be feeling fat and awful. Actually I feel fine and am not sure where the weight is hiding. Maybe I am growing a hump?

Anyway this really is my last post. See you on the other side of my honeymoon.

Fact and fiction

I think I've got the whole weight rise thing figured out. My rings were hardly fitting and my watch was tight. I realised it was water weight so looked up diuretic foods - grapefruit and citrus fruits. Funny because in the last week I've not eaten my usual satsumas as the acupuncturist suggested only warm fruit.

So I thought 'sod that' and bought pink grapefruit juice and loads of satsumas. My weight is dropping slowly. Turns out its another recognised side effect of Clomid.

I have been trying to build myself up to going back on Cambridge once I get back from my honeymoon. Learning that the NHS clinic has a 11% success rate with women my age and the private clinic 26% didn't exactly inspire me.

So I started looking into this whole fat issue. Turns out it really does seem to affect your ability to maintain a pregnancy. I read a study that suggests obesity doesn't prevent pregnancy but can really raise the risk of miscarriage.

Considering I might end up at one or the other clinic with either an 11% or 26% chance of giving birth I don't want to reduce my chances any further.

So count me in. I'm sold on doing Cambridge once I get back. I'm even, secretly, looking forward to it - my body really doesn't seem to want to give up the weight any other way. I do want to weigh less for me as well as the other reasons.

But whilst I'm away I'm gonna have some fun. How often do you go on honeymoon? Once I hope! I might not get a chance to post before I go (Friday) so if not see you about the 25th Nov!

Sweat

Today a very weird thing happened. I was at the gym at the start of my programme - cycling 4km on the bike - when something started happening.

My face got red, my skin started to sweat. Genuinely the first time for years! I just don't really sweat or get red. But by the time I got to the rower I was sweating like the trooper.

The thing is that I wasn't trying harder than I ever have before (except at the rowing where I cut my time for 1km from 5.30 to 5.08).

So I was doing the same as usual but my body was not reacting in the same way. Before it just wouldn't really react. This time it did. It certainly felt like a good sign. It wasn't a sign of unfitness but that my body knew when to react and could do it at the right time.

So acupuncture? Finally the thyroxine working? Just a random occurance? Who knows!

ps Still piling on weight though. 14,8 this morning! Still on 1300 cals a day. You gotta laugh!
pps Temperature still up on 'normal' too

Oh Yeah!

I was on the phone to my sister last night - the one I like - and we were talking about the whole baby thing. I got all emotional and said I was getting worried because I was so emotional. She says 'Well isn't that a side effect of Clomid?'

Duh! I genuinely forgot. I have been thinking I'm losing my sanity when really (probably.... hopefully!) its these pills.

My temperature is still a few points higher than it was before - If it carries on all month I'll post a pic for you to see. So far then acupuncture looks like a go-er. I'm due back next Monday.

But my weight continues to climb upwards despite my dieting. I was 14,6 this morning. I am still on TOTM so it should drop a few pounds but that's still 2 pounds higher than I was two weeks ago! sigh!

Acupuncture

I went to the Acupuncturist earlier in the week. I sort of know her already (she's a friend of a friend) and it was an interesting meeting.

She kept saying 'Yes, yes, that makes sense' as I reeled off my various medical conditions. She even guessed one (asthma) before I said it. No I wasn't wheezing at the time!

Apparently there are various things wrong with me but basically my body is storing energy on my body rather than burning it - hence the fact I am cold all the time. It means there is less energy to make a baby.

Anyway a few needles rammed into my toes later I went on my way with new diet advice. I have to eat warm things, try to swap to rice milk and work out less.

Not sure about the last 2 but I'm all for warm things.

She did warn me I may cry or have some other weird reaction. I did feel bit weepy afterwards but that may have been because I told her about my childhood - apparently its bound to have had some effect upon my body but nothing she can't sort out. I felt oddly reassured by this.

Do I believe it all? I dunno really but my temperature did shoot up 3 points after seeing her so yeah maybe. I'm open to it.

Two posts!

Ok so I rarely post twice in one day but I just found something out. NHS advice is for the PCT to fund 3 cycles of IVF for applicable couples.

My PCT (Sheffield) only funds 1. 1! The local hospital has a 41% success rate so it is likely anyone going there will need more.

So I'm going to be eating 600 calories a day for 6 months (or however long it takes to lose 3 stone) to save £2765....and getting older every minute.

That 0% credit card option seems more sensible now!

Friends

I went out with my very best friends on Friday. As well as their stories of their children I received the following advice:

1) Have sex at the time you ovulate
2) Put your legs up in the air afterwards
3) Just relax!
4) If all else fails just put the IVF on interest free credit card

Argh! I know they are trying to help but I just feel sadder after I have seen them than before. I did have a conversation with my bestie on the drive home and that did make me feel better as she listened to me - which is the thing I need really.